CHANGE - FRIEND OR FOE?
Original piece posted April 4th, 2021
When confronted with the notion of change, what is your initial knee jerk reaction? Do you freeze and stiffen with fear? Do you immediately feel overwhelmed weighing out the pros and cons of what will or will not happen? Do you drive yourself insane trying to convince yourself that the current status quo is a much better option even if the current situation isn’t great to begin with? Do you focus more on all that could go wrong and less on all that could go right? I know I do.
It’s a known fact, we humans just love us some stability. We’re naturally drawn towards consistency as we feel safer when knowing what to expect. That is how we initially survived as a race. But times have CHANGED. We are no longer fighting to survive our environment and escape our predators. Our attitude and our resistance to change is often based on the notion that life is best when set in stone and change inevitably leads us down a road of uncertainty and quite possibly death.
But the essence of life IS change. Life is what distinguishes organic matter like us, from inorganic matter, like rocks. On a purely biological level, we as living organisms, need change in order for growth, reproduction and functional activity. Without change, life would stop and in most instances that means life has come to an end. Talk about worst case scenario. I mean, which sounds scarier to you? If you think change sounds scary, death is up there with spiders among my top 5 things I fear.
So how do we look at change not as something to fear but simply as an opportunity that brings growth and forward mobility to support life? It’s all in the attitude. We cant change change, nor can we always control or prevent change. But we CAN control our feelings and shift our attitude towards it, potentially transforming our experience from a negative one to a positive one.
Shifting your attitude is possible - it is fairly simple although I agree not always easy. It takes practice and a willingness to look inside yourself and allowing yourself to feel the feels and grow through the flow.
One way that helps me is through journaling.
Here are a few writing prompts that I hope you find helpful in shifting your attitude towards change.
1. Start with the change you wish to make for yourself. Complete the sentence: “If I knew I could not fail, I would…..”
2. Now write out all the WORST case scenarios that could happen with this change. Yes, I said it. GO THERE! This is your shot to take it to the extreme. Will this change physically shove you off a cliff when you least expect it? Will this change cause a rare allergic reaction where your body turns green? Write down all the things that you tell yourself why this change is not good. Be honest so you can get your fears off your chest and really see what it is that is holding you back.
3. Now flip the script and list out all the BEST case scenarios. What are the silver linings? What wonderful things could this change bring?
4. Take this one step further and write out the best case scenarios as personal affirmations. Complete the following sentence with each silver lining you listed.: “This change is AWESOME because…
5. Go one step even further and take each of your personal affirmations and expand the positive thinking into a positive narrative - create a story you can actually internalize. Visualize the change coming into your life and, with it, all the positive outcomes you listed. Imagine each of these positive events causing other good things to happen. Write in as much detail as possible so you can vividly see this change.
6. Lastly, embrace this new narrative and start taking baby steps (or if you’re really inspired, big steps) towards your change. The idea here is to go from talking the talk to walking the walk.
Remember, change itself is not the enemy. It is the attitude and the narratives we hold around it that makes us fearful of it. Disarm the fear and change simply becomes a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning.
Stay AWESOME!
-Siobhan